We are coming up on the two year anniversary of me being a stay at home mom.  In some ways my life has slowed down to a crawling halt and in other ways it is flying by quicker than I could have imagined.  Staying home was something I desired, but never saw possible.  It is a blessing, but it is far harder than I thought it would be.  The days are full, I am so tired and yet most days the only thing I feel like I’ve accomplished is just keeping the kids alive.  They may not have made it through the day happy, content or well nourished, but they made it living and some days that’s enough.  My days are filled with so many small things.  SO MANY.  Small people, small toys, small utensils, small socks (many that no longer have mates), small fuses and large tantrums that make me have many small meltdowns.

I am not used to a life full of small things.  My family and I have been through a lot in our lives.   Our journey has been marked by a lot of BIG things:  financial issues, substance abuse, fertility trouble, the whirlwind of adoption, the joy and agony of working in ministry, moving, health issues and death. It has been hard, but I have also learned to hold on to Jesus through the big things.  I had great people surrounding me when I was young that taught me to keep my faith and remember that there is a purpose in our suffering.  God is the God my big things.  It’s sad how good I have gotten at enduring the big things.  Grief, loss and chaos help me thrive in my spiritual journey.  I’ve learned so much and have been able to encourage others through their struggles.  I have come to treasure those hard times.

However, in the last few months God has really been convicting me about something.  He is letting me know that He also wants to be the God of my small things.  I think He is honored by how I have handled the big things.  It has not been perfect, but it has definitely been a process.  The small things, however, have been more difficult.  The day-to-day parts of life get me down and I allow them to steal my joy.  Family schedules, losing keys, paying bills, car troubles, toddler tantrums and making dinner keeps my head spinning.  He wants to be my God of that too.  He is not only big enough to handle those small things, but He cares about those small things. He cares about every detail.

The Bible is full of verses that talk about our loving Father that cares deeply about every detail of our life.  He knows the number of hairs on our head.  He is familiar with all of our ways.  My problem comes when I think that I can handle the day-to-day without my Father.  I just think, “they are little things, I can handle this.” The little things all stack up and become big things.  The little things start spiraling out of control and leave me in a funk.  I forget to humbly hand them over to Jesus.

1 Peter is a favorite book of mine for so many reasons.  Chapter 5, verses 6 and 7 say, “Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time,  casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.”  Peter was just telling the believers, in the previous verses, that they need to submit to one another and then leads into humbly submitting everything to God.  He cares about us.  He cares about me and I need to let Him care.  If I truly believe that His way is better than my way I will let him have the little things and the big things in my life.