New situations can be difficult and for an introvert meeting new people in new situations can lead to exhaustion. It’s not the new people that are exhausting, it’s the amount of energy I need to bring the encounter that leads me to hibernation. I have learned and embraced this introverted reality over the last decade. I thought, “I like people, so what is the problem? Am I just getting old and need more time to recover? Why do I need a day of rest after a big event?” The answers to those questions used to bother me. The fact that I had to ask myself those questions used to frustrate me, but as I learned more about myself and what it means to be an introvert I began to embrace my introvert heart and become more comfortable in my own skin.

Part of my internship for my master’s degree was teaching life skills classes to women at a residential facility. I was a substitute and I could choose what I wanted to teach. I did a little of everything from Bible studies to watching movies, but one of my favorite courses what helping the students learn about their personality and how God made them. In preparing for that course I read for the first time about being an extroverted introvert. I read that it was easier for EI’s to say what is on their heart than it is for them to make small talk.  Yes!  That it takes awhile to warm up in social situations.  Yes! It is difficult to reach out to others unless they are rested and recharged.  Yes! Yes! Yes!  I felt like someone had finally explained to me who I was and why I felt the way I felt. It was liberating to have a window to my heart. I wasn’t broken.  I was an introvert trying to live the life of an extrovert.

I often get mistaken for an extrovert. When I’ve had the proper rest or feel fully prepared for the upcoming engagement, I can roll into the room smoother than any extrovert. A few months ago, we were asked to speak to a group of parents about having a transracial family. Adoption is definitely a topic I can talk about for hours without the need to retreat to a corner or take a power nap. It is a passion. I don’t remember how the topic of me being an introvert came up, but one of the guys in the room said, “There is no way you are an introvert!” He mistook my endless ability to speak about what God had done in our family as a trait in my personality, but my passion and enthusiasm does not come from myself, it comes from my desire to share the amazing things that God has done despite the natural desire to only open up to my closest circle.

My family is finding ourselves in a season of new places and faces. There is only one person in our family that handles this with exuberant joy. It is not me or my husband. It is one of our tiny guys. He is the lone extrovert in our crew and the rest of us are walking around in an introverted fog, trying to put our best foot forward while we really just want to remain quiet. He fearlessly leads us into new situations and his giant smile is our social shield. He makes it easier to walk into new territories because his confidence and kindness are contagious. I’ve been around other extroverts in my life, I pretended to be one for most of it, but this little guy has helped me be more comfortable with being myself while opening doors for more natural connections with new people.

There are many reasons I am thankful that our little Trunk is apart of our family, but helping me understand myself better has been huge. I pray there are many more life lessons I learn through my boys and I have the humility in the moment to absorb those lessons from my little humans.