Where were you September 11, 2001?  I had just spent the first night at my new apartment in Nashville.  My roommate had not moved in yet and I did not have any furniture.  All of my belongings fit in the back of my tiny, two door Chevy Cavalier.  I wasn’t sure how long it was going to take me to get to work, so I left with plenty of time to get there.  I didn’t have a television, so to me it was just a normal a day of a young, broke professional getting herself to work.

As I rolled into the parking lot I was listening to a local radio station.  They were playing a trivia game with a listener.  They made a comment about there being a fire at the World Trade Center.  Not going to lie, I knew it was in New York, but I didn’t really know what it was.  I got up to my cubicle, it was located near a large conference room.  The door was open and the TV was on.  There were several people in there watching the news.  I put my stuff down and went in.  I stood against the wall, next to my friend, and we watched the second plane hit the World Trade Center.  There was confusion in the room.  We didn’t understand what we were watching.

As the news unfolded of terrorist attacks our building went on lockdown and I started to feel very alone.  I had only known the people I worked with for about three months.  I had finished a summer internship and was offered a job.  They didn’t really know me and I really didn’t know them.  I just wanted to be home.  Home.  I called home.  I called Kevin.  They all wanted me to be home too.  I already had plans to fly back to Michigan to celebrate Kevin’s birthday that weekend (probably tomorrow’s post), but I wanted to be there in that instant.  They all reminded me that God is in control even when it seems like the world is out of control.  They all encouraged me to stay focused and do a good job.  I tried.  We all tried, but the TV stayed on all day in the conference room.  People floated in and out as they had time.  We all just wanted to know what was going on.  Even weeks later, the stories from Ground Zero and the clean up efforts were comforting to me.  I just wanted to keep watching, to see what was going to happen next.  Was something going to happen next?  I think I just wanted to hear that it was over.  I wanted a pretty bow tied around this tragedy and I wanted to know it wasn’t going to happen again.

I bought books on the subject.  I wanted to know the timeline of the events of the day.  I wanted to read about Todd Beamer and the rest of the people on his flight.  I wanted to hear stories from survivors and family members that lost loved ones.

A year and a half after the attacks Kevin and I were in New York City for our one year anniversary.  We went for a Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds show at Radio City Music Hall.  We did a lot of touristy things, but I was set on waking up super early to be on the plaza for the Today Show.  We woke up really early and took our cute signs to Rockefeller Center.  There was no one there!  Kevin and I stepped up to the barricade and a police officer told us there was not going to be any show outside because they were covering the war inside.  Our country was at war and would be at war for the foreseeable future.

It is 18 years later and the effects of 9/11 can still be felt around the world.  Terrorism still exists.  Hate is still around us everywhere we turn.  Flight restrictions have eased a little, but it is always a puzzle of how I’m going to get all my 3 oz liquid items into one quart size bag (insert smiley emoji here).

The events of 9/11 changed our world in so many different ways.  It changed on a global level and it changed families.  I did not lose anyone on 9/11, my story pales in comparison to thousands of people that lost loved ones that day.  Their lives will never be the same.  None of us will ever be the same.  My kids will never know a pre 9/11 world. I pray, however, that they one day experience a 9/12 world where people came together to help each other no matter their race, religion or socioeconomic status.

I had no idea driving to work that morning that my life and our country was about to change.  Sometimes I wish I could go back to that clueless twenty-something year old walking into the building.  I would tell her to stay calm.  I would tell her she is loved.  I would remind her that she does not have all the answers and she doesn’t need to have all the answers.  I would tell her that God is in control even when the world looks like it’s spinning out of control.  I would tell her she is where she needs to be even though she was so far from home.  I would tell her so many different things and I still need to tell myself of all of those things on a daily basis.  I will never forget where I was on September 11, 2001 and I pray I never do.  The lessons are too important to forget.